Premonitions…….©

FRIDAY, you have finally arrived!  What a beautiful, blessed week this has been.  A few individuals made attempts to bring me down off of my high, but I quickly deflated their balloons.  Take control of the situation!  Always!

I rose this morning, feeling a bit groggy, but fairly rested.  This week has afforded me the opportunity to truly ponder on a few current situations that I have not given proper attention to, such as residency, people in my Life, those in my direct path, and when I will truly step out on faith, and become the Full-time Author/Speaker that I am intended to be.  As scary as it is, I know that I must make my decision, and SOON!

There is so much on my heart this morning, yet, a diversion came about, when I logged into the back end of my website, only to find some of the most comforting comments which needed my immediate attention.  GOD IS AMAZING!  I am slowly but surely beginning to realize that there ARE wonderful people in this Life.  There are those who could care less that I exercise an active interest in men.  There are those that FULLY appreciate my work in the world.  There are those that have experienced unspeakable things, such as myself, yet, have turned that pain into sunshine.  The time is NOW.  A notion of fear ran across my spirit this week, regarding just how much needs to be done, what I “want” to be done, yet, finances do not call for some of these things.

I pondered on just how many times in my Life I have been in this very predicament and the world conspired in my favor, time and time again.  There is no reason to allow fear to creep in.  Although there are many things that need to be moved on immediately, and while I do not have the finances to do so at this very moment, I WILL ATTRACT ALL THAT I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD IN A WAY THAT IS HEALTHY, AND SUITABLE FOR ME.

I also woke up thinking about the new Love in my Life.  How is it that one single person can bring so much joy to the Life/heart of another person?  It is such a beautiful, welcome feeling, to see another person make themselves vulnerable to you, to open their heart and mind to you, to express true gratitude for the person and all things that you are and represent.  It’s very humbling.

The time is near to when I will step out on pure faith.  No more toying around with destiny.  I must take control, and project, as well as attract the Life that I desire, the Life that I deserve.  No more stalling.  No more fear.  No more questions.  Just knowing…….

This is GOD’s day.  I am grateful to be here to speak these words, and to put forth good, quality energy into the atmosphere.  A good friend stated to me last evening, not to allow anyone to alter my voice.  What a profound statement!  I truly took it to heart, and it provided me with the fuel I needed to continue to go hard!

Everyone, make time this weekend to take inventory of your Life.  Take time to express your Love and gratitude to those who are good to you, through good, bad, and indifferent times.  Nothing can compare to the beauty, passion, wonder, and promise of Life, even with all of its intricacies.  Let’s make our “Decisions with Conviction, with Passion, with Love.”

Until next time, friends.

With Love,

Mr. Terron J. Cook

Our “Work in the World” is anything and everything.  Hello!  Good Wednesday to everyone!

Ahhhh, I rose this morning feeling refreshed, the sun was beaming through the window, and I was greeted with a smile from my handsome partner.  How Life can change in the blink of an eye.  I feel directly connected to Life today, and as if NOTHING, and NO ONE can touch me!  This is my truth, as long as I allow it to be.

A fresh, healthy breakfast was prepared for me, which is something that I am NOT used to.  Great conversation took place, I checked e-mails, and much to my surprise, people from around the world are reaching out to me through my website, stating how much they appreciate my Work in the World.  Who would’ve thought I would be in this place?  I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface.  I feel like a kid again!  Life is very clear at this very moment, and with the right focus, diligence, patience, and hard work, it promises to get better.

Keeping negative energy out of my direct path is pertinent.  Not to get into too much detail, but it will soon be time for me to clean house in regard to my residence.  I am a firm believer in the fact that sometimes, situations must be used as stepping stones.  Not everyone in our lives has our best interest at heart, nor do they always divulge ALL information.  So much of my energy has been stripped of me due to my current living situation.  It is so very sad to see how manipulative, devious and naive some individuals are, all at the same time.  Why is it that others plot to steal the good energy/spirit of those who are truly about something, and putting forth goodness in the world?  While I refuse to spend my precious time or energy figuring it out, I WILL SHINE MY LIGHT IN THE FACES OF THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST ME!

I have spent far too much of my Life attempting to be “quiet,” get along with most, and not make too much of a fuss about being a good man.  MY TIME IS NOW!  I not only intend, but am and will continue to be the beacon of light that I have been called to be in this world.  THANK YOU, GOD, for ALL that you have been to me, all that you are, and all that you have promised to be!  Whew!

Today, the weather is truly awesome.  My spirit feels new, cleansed, and ready to tackle anything that comes my way.

I am so grateful to all of the people that are reaching out to me, and taking a vested interest in my work.  I shed a tear this morning, simply pondering on the fact that exercising ones’ capacity in the realm of goodness truly gives us “freedom,” something in which not even the richest being can purchase.  YEAH!

Well, it’s time for me to go out and enjoy this beautiful weather!  It is my hope that each and every one of you are making this a fantastic day!  Until next time.  Many blessings, Love, Peace, Happiness, and fulfillment on this day and beyond.

Mr. Terron J. Cook

As I combed the city streets this afternoon, with the windows down in my Beamer, I embraced the moment of this one fantastic, energy-filled.  The strong winds come across my face, as I look all around.  Traffic moving, people’s level of intrigue increases, as the beauty of the Bay Area on a Saturday afternoon elicits a feeling of complete bliss.  If one cannot appreciate this, then there must be a glitch…….

Wow!  What a week it has been, and things are changing within me, and all around me.  It feels so beautiful.  It feels right.  It feels like GOD.  I know that I am not worthy.  Yet He/She continues to bestow nothing but unconditional Love onto me.  How humbling…….

Over the past two weeks, I have been spending time with a very unique man.  His intelligence, handsome features, forthright nature, and vulnerability are enough to put a smile on anyone’s face.

After so much time spent evading openness of heart, it is nice to know that at any given moment, a person can come along, and with the correct elements contained within their character, we always have the capacity to make decisions with an open mind, and heart.  Whether we choose to exercise that capacity is completely up to us, which ultimately affects all possibilities.

Life is a continuum of choices.  While we may not always know just what is “right,” we always have that feeling within us when we KNOW that something is good, and that good is “right.”  We may try, but we could never fully deny the TRUTH.  The TRUTH is freedom, expression, humility, LOVE, PEACE, and HAPPINESS.  It’s ALL a state of mind.  Each second, each minute, each hour.  It’s readily available, at any given moment in time.  Exercise it, until you fade away.  There is nothing like this freedom.  “Young Hearts, RUN FREE!”

Here’s to a magical Saturday evening.  I look around, and there is so much beauty, within and beyond.  Peace, Love, and Light to ALL.

Mr. Terron J. Cook

I sit here in my little room this evening.  I just walked in from a short-lived evening with acquaintances, and what a great time it was.

As I Googled my name, I found the video for my very first Book-Signing Event, which was held here in the city two weeks ago.  A tear came to my eye, as I viewed my stance at the podium, remembering that day in the hotel room in Atlanta, sitting in front of my brother, and listening to him tell me verbatim, how he murdered our father.

I say this to say just how amazing making the RIGHT decision is, and how it affects the MOMENT, and the immediate and prolonged future!  “Where would I be if I would have chosen to side with the person that has my bloodline?” I ask myself?

Life is so beautiful, scary, dangerous, and awesome, all at the same time.  It can feel as though we are going crazy at times…….

I often drift back to that day in the summer of 1999.  I never, EVER thought I would be where I am at.  It feels so damn good to be able to fully LOVE, APPRECIATE, and RESPECT myself, in spite of the incomprehensible hand that was dealt.  It has taken so long to learn how to love and appreciate myself.  Now that I am here, it is all about sustaining and cultivating these emotions, as well as paying it forward!

Had to vent for a bit…….Here’s hoping everyone has had, and will continue to make it a wonderful week!  If things are not moving in your favor, then please take a good look around…….You’ll be amazed at what you “see.”  Good, Bad and Indifferent.

Love,

Mr. Terron J. Cook

What an absolutely HOT, yet, beautiful day it has been and continues to be here in San Francisco!  WHEW!  It’s the warmest I’ve ever felt it here in the city.  I can only imagine what the East Bay feels like.  This sweltering heat shifts the attitude of many, and brings out the crazy side of those who hide behind a false sense of “normalcy,” on most occasions.

Today has been an extremely productive day.  I was able to hit the weights and play basketball after a brief hiatus.  Unfortunately, I threw my back out last week, while lifting weights.  This is the third time that this has happened, so I must need to learn to take it easy.  Lifting weights brings forth a feeling like no other.  The endorphins come rushing in, my body takes shape, and my mind follows suit.  It’s amazing!

Lately, my mind has been wrapped around just what precipitates change.  This is a reality that amazes me, not just in my own Life, but within all living and breathing things.  Change is so amazing!  Much too often, negative change is frowned upon, and positive change is glorified.  My question is: “just what precipitates any type of change?”  What makes a person transition from one place to another, in the sense of energy, mindset, body, etc?  I often consider my brother, or even myself, when I ponder this question.  How is it that the two of us, born and raised in the same household, under the same set of circumstances grow to venture in two totally different directions?  Could it be that we processed our emotions differently?  Could it be fate?  Was this GOD’s doing?  Was this a manifestation of our own destiny?  It’s truly mind-boggling.

I have learned through the years to NOT look a gift-horse in the mouth, as one will block their blessings.  Lord knows I have NO desire to block my blessings.  Therefore, I tend to smile, remain humble, and project positivity, even in the face of hate/adversity.

The past couple of days have been interesting, as I have run up against some extremely jealous individuals.  I find it interesting that anyone would allow jealousy and envy to rest within their spirit.  Where does that emotion stem from?  Is it insecurity?  Is it an inferiority complex deep down inside?  Whatever the case may be, I continue to allow my light to shine ever so brightly!

Learning how to sit back, relax, and be a GOOD MAN is a very difficult, yet, rewarding feat.  It is nothing short of a blessing that I am here, and walking the path that will lead me to become an even better man.  Thank You, Lord.  I am nothing without you.  We walk this path together, one step at a time.

I hope that everyone is making this a splendid day, in spite of any set backs.  Keep pushing vertically!  Until next time…….

Mr. Terron J. Cook

The weekend has finally arrived!  My body feels rested, as I just rose from a slumber.  I had a wonderful time hanging with friends last evening.  It’s nice to get in the bed at a decent hour.  After a long, hard week, it’s always a beautiful thing to blow off some steam, shut the mind down, and go and be silly for a few hours.

Today, I have found myself feeling extremely grateful to be in a position, and the mindset to live in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Tuesday morning, while I headed up to Marin County to pick my car up, after being serviced, I found myself staring out the bus window, onto the inexplicable beauty of this place.  I have never witnessed such beauty in my Life!

As much as I wanted to relax and take a nap, my mind was so enthralled with the sites that I focused simply on that.  My mind drifted to a place, formerly known as home, which is Columbus, OH.  I also pondered on the various places that I have resided throughout my Life, desperately attempting to find my place, to find my peace.

It can be rather daunting when one is attempting to find “home.”  Back in Columbus, I always knew that such a place was very limiting, and would not afford me the opportunity to flourish.  After years and years of philandering, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that Northern California is officially my “Home.”?

“Why did it take so long?” I continually ask myself.  I realize that it is not about the question, it is about the fact that after many trials and tribulations of the spirit, I have finally made the conscious decision, for various reasons, to settle down, and realize just how fortunate I am.

I no longer feel a major sense of restlessness.  Prior, I just couldn’t seem to relax, as if I needed to be somewhere, all the time.  I was simply exhausting my spirit, running around, refusing to allow myself to cultivate my talents, as well as my dreams.

There are times when I think of leaving San Francisco, much further down the road, when I really want to relax, and have a more quiet Life.  I dream of having a cottage in the woods somewhere, with a partner, if I am so blessed.  Although the city Life is very exciting, having peace and tranquility is nurturing for the soul.  The hype and excitement of living in a big city can be very overwhelming at times, not to mention attempting to connect with the people.

Today feels good.  My Life feels great!  As long as I continue to exercise patience, exercise diligence, focus, be of an open mind and heart, I will continue to do great things!  I feel happy, I am blessed, and I know that nothing can stop me!

Relax today, everyone.  Take time out for loved ones.  Take time out for YOU!  I hope that everyone is in good spirits today.  If you find yourself at odds, take time to think about why you are not where you want to be, mentally, and spiritually.  Altering ones’ attitude can and will change EVERYTHING!  Give it a shot!  Take inventory of your surroundings…….Much Peace, Love, and Light!

Sincerely,

Terron J. Cook

What a DAY this has been!  WOW!  Life continues to WOW me, and awaken parts of me that I thought had passed on.  I know, it’s unhealthy to think, or feel such a way, but this is me speaking from my heart, from a pure place.

This main emotion that I speak of is opening up my heart.  For so long, my mind has been open, yet, I have consistently felt incomplete, as if the heart is shut down/off, while the mind is open, it creates major conflict, created displaced emotions.  Make sense?

A few weeks ago, I met a very incredible gentleman, who has piqued an interest in me.  This was totally a chance meeting.  During the course of the past couple of weeks, him and I have made the conscious effort to get to know one another, and a beautiful experience it has been, and continues to be.

While I remain the strong individual that I am, and refuse to rush into anything, and allow time and room for the ultimate combination of Love…….Flow……., things seem, feel, are so much more clear.

The weather today was a pure representation of how my spirit feels.  Everything is in alignment.  So many times in my Life, I have found myself at odds, mostly due to the fact that I “chose” to lay in a puddle of misery, a puddle of anger, a puddle of frustration.  I also allowed the rejection of my own blood to plague my existence.  I have learned the true beauty of not only loving and accepting ones’ self, but “EMBRACING” ones’ self.  While I do not feel that I completely ready to let go with this new individual whom has entered my Life, I am acting on the potential that is present.  This, in and of itself is amazing.  “What do I have to lose?” I ask myself, each new day that we continue to interact.  I see consistency in this individual.  I see and feel a genuine interest.  The “Vibe/Moment” between me and this man is so smooth.  It is so natural.  One can easily get lost in the moment…….I will simply enjoy this moment, as opposed to get ahead of myself.  The natural order of things must, and will take precedence over all that I “desire.”

I must say, being appreciated from all aspects feels so damn good!

Today was such a beautiful day!  One question: “Where did the time go?”  As I laugh to myself, Jeffrey Osborne’s “Love Power,” featuring Dionne Warwick is being featured in the background.

My choices as of late are coming from a more competent, genuine and authentic place.  Maybe it took me to make a multitude of bad decisions, and to be shit on by most of my family to become the pillar of strength that I have come to be.  Now, I will pay it forward, each and every day that I am blessed to rise.

With each new day that we are blessed with, it is our responsibility to take advantage of the Life that we have been given.  We are not here to judge, to bitch, to complain, and most certainly, NOT to waste time.  We are here to learn, to grown, to be HAPPY, to lead a very joyous Life.  I know I deserve it!  Please tell me you feel the same.  Don’t simply speak of it, live it!  Rid yourself of unnecessary individuals/situations, immediately!  Oh how necessary it is.

Until next time.  Thank You all for allowing me to speak these words.  Make this a wonderful evening, everyone.

Truly,

Mr. Terron J. Cook

It’s OFFICIAL!  Terron J. Cook, the Author had his first official Book-Signing Event this afternoon in Downtown San Francisco, and what a nice little crowd it drew.  I am still reliving the event in my mind, relishing the moment.  To view the recording, please click on the following link: \”Terron J. Cook\’s First Book-Signing Event\”

I cannot believe that all of my hard work and dedication is paying off, right before my very eyes.  All of my books sold out, the energy was BEAUTIFUL, people were engaged, and I felt on top of the world, speaking about my life to my “family.”

I arrived at 11:50, and felt like a superstar as I graced the store, feeling the energy, focusing my energy on how to present myself on MY day.  I walked around the store, and really began to focus.  I then headed downstairs to set-up, and assist the camera man with setting up to record the event.   The event coordinator was also present, and I spoke with him about the protocol for an event such as this.  Nervousness began to set in, but I realized that this is MY event, my big day, and absolutely no need to be nervous.  “Besides, it’s my life story!” I thought to myself.

The first attendee walked downstairs, and a huge smiled appeared on my face.  “This is really happening!” I screamed in my mind.  So much work and dedication has gone into bringing this event to fruition.  It felt so damn good.  No feeling can compare.

More attendees began to pour in.  The podium, camera, and books were all set-up, and people formed a line for me to begin signing books, as some individuals would need to leave in the midst of the signing, as most were on lunch hour.  “I am really a published Author, signing books that I produced!” I thought to myself, with the smile of a extremely content young child upon my face.  WOW!

I opened up the signing with an introduction of myself, and how I got to this point, and what convinced me to actually write this book.  The crowd was silent, all eyes on me, and once again, nervousness set in, as you could hear a pen drop in the room.  While speaking my peace, I’m actually having a conversation with  myself in my mind.  I began sweating, and my speech becomes rapid.  Immediately, I pull it together, as I realize just how important it is for me to shine!  “This is YOUR DAY, Terron, and there is absolutely no need to be nervous!” I say to myself.  Soon thereafter, I regain control, and things begin to flow.

As I delved into my story, the expression on the face of the crowd was that of a very interested nature.  Everyone was extremely engaged, and looking directly at me.  It’s is so nice to capture the attention of the audience and to be able to sustain it.  Beautiful!  That’s the sign of a good speaker!

The event continued to move beautifully, the energy in the room was phenomenal, and everyone interacted on a very smooth level, which was not contrived.  It was so nice to see the family that I’ve created interacting as one.  I’ve always desired to have all of my very unique friends/family in the same room, at the same time.  With so many varied personalities, it went much better than I could have ever imagined.

I closed out the talk a bit earlier, feeling more confident than ever.  Excitement was in the air, customers patronizing the bookstore viewing my event from afar, and my final book sold!  I couldn’t believe it!  My books sold out, and according to the events coordinator, this is a huge feat for an individual doing their first book signing!  “It doesn’t get any better than this!” I thought to myself.

The event finally came to a close, everyone began to mingle, and I finished autographing books.  GOD was with me the entire time, and I felt so “pure.”  A few moments later, I was presented with my very first, and official paycheck from my writing career.  WHAT A FEELING THIS ELICITED! As I held the check in my hand, it helped me to realize that Terron J. Cook can and will do, ANYTHING!

I’ve always been a dreamer.  Now, I’m actually turning my dreams into “reality.”  Let’s get it!

It is an absolutely gorgeous day here in San Francisco, today.  GOD’s grace and mercy is so comforting.  Let’s make this a beautiful Tuesday, folks!  Until next time, take good care.  Be well.

Mr. Terron J. Cook

Where to begin…….Well, as it is just shy of midnight, I sit here with my mind wrapped around various topics, namely how far I have come in my life, and just how very grateful I am.

As we move vertically in life, if we are so fortunate, it can be extremely easy to lose sight of just how far we have advanced, due to the fact that we are so focused on “continuing” to advance.  I speak of advancement from a mental/spiritual standpoint.  SURELY NOT from a “monetary” standpoint.

Living our daily lives, one can easily take for granted the amount of progress that they have made, myself included.  We are always “in-it.”  It is imperative that we take time to STOP, look around, and express extreme gratitude for the present.

This past weekend, a friend from my hometown came to visit me in San Francisco, for the very first time.  This individual and I have had quite the tumultuous friendship over the years.  When we initially met back in Columbus, there was a mutual interest.  Yet, it never went any further than that, as I always knew in the back of my mind that I wanted and needed more in a person.  This caused much friction and conflict over the course of the years, along with many “silent” periods, with absolutely no communication.

This individual has seen me experience some of the worst times of my life.  Yet, in my humble opinion, he never has and still does not truly appreciate the MAN that I have become, in spite of the circumstances surrounding my life.  Maybe I expect too much out of others?  No, I do not feel this is the case.  My expectations stem from what I bring to the table, which is quite a lot.

This weekend, he flew in late Friday evening, and I was rather excited to have him come and visit Northern California for the very first time, and be a part of the world that I have created for myself.  In the back of my mind, I knew things would be the same as they were back home.  It is my belief that those who stay involved in familiar surroundings, continuing to speak of, and do the same things all throughout their lives are truly unhappy.  How can one grow in this fashion?  We were forced to pack many things in to the weekend, as he was only slated to stay until Monday.  Knowing this, I planned as much as possible, without neglecting my own schedule too much.

As I picked him up from the airport, and we began having a conversation about my life in California, the past, the present, and various other topics, I became exhausted, frustrated, and actually rather put off.  It is the strangest thing to be in front of a person whom you have known for so many years, and to see the jealousy oozing out of their skin.  The comments that came out of his mouth, regarding me as a younger person were most ridiculous.  Not to mention the fact that these statements were made in front of a very good friend of mind over the course of the weekend.  I froze for a moment, pondering on if I should respond, or take the high road when such nonsense took place.  Eventually, I chose to acknowledge his ignorance, and put him in his place.  It was sort of a confirmation as to why I never gave this individual a chance to be a part of my world, as well as my heart.  The ignorance and jealousy that people display most times, which is unbeknownst to themselves, is extremely sad.  However, somewhere deep down inside, they must be aware of their actions.  Misery loves company.  It’s similar to “crabs in a bucket.”

For a man such as myself to have overcome such MAJOR adversity, to have moved 3,000 miles away, knowing absolutely no one, and to have created such a magnificent life for myself, which is only to grow bigger and stronger, is an amazing feat!  The refusal to pay homage to such a reality is pure ignorance.  And for ANYONE to attempt to speak ill of me in any way is blasphemous!  This visit has forced me truly reevaluate my friendship with this individual.  I am very proud of the fact that I kept my peace, knowing that he would only be in town briefly.  Why acknowledge such ignorance?  Especially considering the fact that most individuals “choose” to be ignorant, jealous beings, and they will NEVER change.  This is their misery.  This is their reality.  Sad, yet, very, very true.  I moved away from Columbus, OH for these very reasons.  Now, I am shining as I am supposed to be, each and every day.  Oh, what a feeling!

It is rather difficult for me to acknowledge, or even receive the fact that there are so many envious individuals in this existence.  Why would anyone feel such an emotion toward another human?  We ALL have the capacity to strive and do phenomenal things in our lives.  Why do others desire to pull people down, due to the fact that they shine, regardless of circumstances?  I must admit, this type of envy, and hatred gives me the necessary fuel to shine THAT MUCH HARDER! I laugh at such childishness!  It’s nice to be a true representation of “Vertical Living!”

As I dropped him off at the airport in the early afternoon, I felt a weight lifted.  As he exited my vehicle, I literally felt clean again.  Being around negative, complacent energy is deadly, and literally makes me nauseous.  This is the very reason I keep my immediate space clean, peaceful, and harmonious.  Otherwise, one will end up like the rest of the miserable idiots that choose their terrible reality.  How sad…….

It’s so refreshing to know that each waking moment is an opportunity to start anew.  I did it, and continue to do it.  With each breath, I grow stronger and stronger.  Tears of joy stream down my face, as confirmation came this weekend on just how blessed I am.  Moving at a pace that is unheard of to most, merely to be sure to never to fall back into my once miserable reality is the “life/reality” that I have chosen for myself.  No one gave this to me, and I surely didn’t stumble upon it.  For once in my life, I feel like I “own” something, and NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!  THAT’S FREEDOM!  THAT’S LOVE!

THANK GOD for his unconditional love.  I do not know what I would do without it.  Although humans may fail us, it’s so very comforting to know that I can ALWAYS RELY/LEAN ON “the source.”

It’s so exciting to know that my first official Book-Signing Event is merely four days away.  GOD IS SO GOOD!  Here’s a special shout out to all who represent progress, peace, love, truth, honesty, and perseverance.  Keep it moving, vertically!  No matter what they say, know who YOU are.  KNOW YOUR PATH.

Make this a wonderful Tuesday/week!  Peace, Love, and Light to ALL.

Sincerely Yours,

Mr. Terron J. Cook

WOW!  Here it is Friday morning, and for the first time in a while, I feel refreshed!  I cannot pinpoint exactly why I feel this way, but I know that it feels great!  So much beauty taking place within, and all around me.  I LOVE IT!

Last evening, while spending time with a gentleman that I recently met, I realized that it is truly possible to make “quality” connections with others.  It is possible to be appreciated, and to reciprocate that appreciation.  I have spent so much of my valuable time trying to force the hand when it comes to pursuing others, seeking love, etc.  Last evening, while in the midst of this interesting individual, it came to me that there is absolutely no reason to be anxious, to be distrustful, or to be worried.  It was, and still is clear to me that the only thing that is necessary on my behalf, is to “BE” MYSELF.

It’s quite interesting how much time we as humans spend on attempts at pleasing others, when in essence, we are not happy within our own existence.  What is that about?  Is it easier to step outside of ones’ self, and to ignore what is within our own spirit?  Each day, for the past couple of months, I have paid very close attention to my spirit, what my mind, body, heart, and spirit were speaking to me.  And while I may not have always “truly” listened, in the end, I did what was right for me.

What makes some choose a certain path, as opposed to another?  Why are some individuals so attached to anger, bitterness, and sadness, as opposed to simply letting it go?  I ponder these questions so very often, as I deal with such a vast amount of people.  I study human behavior very carefully.  While I may not always be pleased with what is taking place before my eyes, I realize that this life is so very fragile, and that we are all carrying things with us from our past, into the present, which will in turn, walk with us into our future, unless we recognize the things that may not be healthy for us.

It was stated to me many years ago, by a good friend, that I am “too far into my own head.”  At the time, I didn’t quite understand what that meant.  Now that I will be 32 years of age in just over a month, I realize exactly what that statement meant.  I am a serious thinker, and driven to understand myself, almost to a fault.  I can respect my friends opinion.  However, I do not feel that there is such a thing as being “too” much in ones’ own head.  Pondering has brought me to a place I never knew existed.  It’s beautiful.

As I moved my car this morning, to avoid being ticketed for street cleaning, I walked down the street, the cold air hitting my back, and said to myself, “I am comfortable now with the fact that I like men.”  I thought of this, as I took time to spend with someone new last evening.  We sat on the couch, talking, looking at one another, man to man, a touch here, a touch there.  It felt “good,” without there being any sexual tension.  It didn’t feel “gay” to me.  It was simply two men being comfortable in the presence of one another.  I have spent so much of my life struggling with the fact that I am interested in men, and I finally realize that NO, it is not a choice, it is simply the way that I was “created.”  Does the fact that I was molested play into this reality someway, somehow?  Of course.  I see so many individuals running from their truth, their reality, in attempts to please others, and they are ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE!  I choose to “BE.”  I am so very Thankful for “choosing” to “BE” a strong young man, to travel a different road, to take risks, to question what is, and to LOVE myself in a way that does not allow others to hurt me any longer.

All of my decisions thus far have led me to this very point, on Friday, August 6, 2010, 8:24 a.m.  All and all, through and through, this is one BEAUTIFUL LIFE!  After all that I have been through, the fact that I can still say, and actually “feel” this way is nothing short of amazing.  I mean this with all of my heart.  So many major things are happening within me, and around me, and I am ready to receive all of my blessings.  However, I must remember to “BE.”

Feel good today, not only about the day, but about yourself!  Be empowered!  Look to no one for answers, peace, or happiness.  It all rests within the temple.  Be good to yourself.  Realize your potential, and act on it!  Let’s check our attitudes, and keep it CLEAN!

Make it a wonderful Friday, folks!  Peace, Love, and Light!

Much Love,

Mr. Terron J. Cook